i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
