Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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