he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
