What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
