if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she looked like the before picture.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
