remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i came on her dog
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Randomize
