I'm so fucking centered right now
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
