i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
