You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
