Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
