Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just gift wrapped bread.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
