You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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