Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
