last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
