I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
