i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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