I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
