Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
