if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
