That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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