And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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