I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
