I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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