I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
