didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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