I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
