In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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