I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
