Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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