I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Randomize
