We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
