I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize