There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
