We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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