apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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