I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
