I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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