omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
