Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
