I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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