i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
