Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
