I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
