They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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