I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
