mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
