whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
