well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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