1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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