Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
