Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
