In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
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Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
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The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.