While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.