Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
