Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
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she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
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Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You're a waste of cheezeits
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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