TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so let's talk penis.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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