Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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