if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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