Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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