She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
